A Question..

Winters in Allahabad can be very harsh. Yes, it was one of those early morning intense chill in the month of Jan, when I was getting out of our Officers Mess. The party in the evening was a great show. Guests ate well, danced, made merry and left for their home late night laughing and admiring. I was the last to leave since being the Mess secretary, I was to take toll of the party and its upshots with Mess staff.

Time was 1.30 AM, which was quite late. Down with couple of whisky and slight headache, I was in a demented state. My mind was mulling over the problems I was likely to face in the office later in the day. It was a foggy outdoor, not a soul discernible anywhere till my vision length. Neon lit road with absolute silence was somewhat scary. The warmth of car heater was the sole comfort. Just when I was taking a turn out of my Mess gate for my home, I noticed something,something, which to me appeared weird.

Right across the road on the opposite side, a beggar, in tattered state was crossing the road over to my side. His unkempt beard, messy hair and resigned state while sitting on that roller cart was distinctly discernible to me. He was using his hands to push that cart across the road. As he came little closer, I realized the man didn’t have legs. Poverty plainly is such a big curse on human, but I had never seen it in this form hitherto. The sight was appalling and emotive. Even the warm enclosure of my car wasn’t adequate to contain my despair in that winter chill, and to see this fellow human, with nothing on as shield for his body, with no legs to stand, pushing that small flat cart on rollers with his bare hands was incredible.

Intrigued, I stopped my car and watched him mystified. I could see him clearly under the street light now. He was pushing the cart ahead, taking a petite break and was back slowly with his grueling task. Finally he crossed the road. I saw him clearly while he passed by my car door. I could feel my pulse quivering witnessing his dismal state. He advanced further and suddenly stopped, turning his head straight towards me. He looked straight into my eyes. A chill went through my veins. I felt he could see my eyes even through semi dark closed window pane of my car. He looked at me probably for a second or two, our eyes locked. And then he smiled and turned his face back again resuming his sluggish movement. I saw him going away till I couldn’t see him further. Transfixed for a while,I started for my home again bemused.

Lying on my bed, trying to catch sleep, I felt restless in my room . What was that which was graveling me? What was that which was coercing me to bear in mind those piercing eyes of that unknown face? Why was I anxious? And then I saw it. Realization downed and I felt it. Why couldn’t I see it earlier? YES,that underprivileged soul apparently had nothing worthwhile for him from this life, had every reason to anathemize his creator, for the state he was in. He probably didn’t know if he will survive the following day, and YET still, had a reason to ‘SMILE’ and smile at me. What was that which made him smile? Was he trying to convey something to me? Or was it some chance illusion created by my own self trying to get out of my own quagmire?

If he could find a reason to smile in that state, am I justified to have a reason to feel low at any stage of my life? Should I ever feel disenchanted for what I have with me or what God has given me so far? Shouldn’t I be thankful for what I am?

I have no clue and perhaps would never know!!!!

New Day

Sitting here right next to TV, on this morning with a hot cup of coffee, I am wondering over the question of adopting a set routine in our life..Do we need to adopt some kind of routine in our day to day life or let it happen the way destiny decides it for us.. Some would say that we need to have some sense of discipline and that goes to support a set routine, set rules and standards to begin and end the day for us. I however feel that let the life takes its own path…We may however make an attempt to guide it for a predetermined goal..

It is extremely important not to have one,s life all blocked out. Where do we leave room for new events and new occurrences to set in..? Why should we have days and weeks totally organized. Its essential to leave gaps and interludes for spontaneous actions, for it is often in spontaneity and surprises that we open ourselves to the unlimited opportunities and new areas brought into our lives by chance. Unless we give chance to chance we would simply be leading a life purely devoid of interesting turns..

It is often in consequence and unpredictability of these very moments that our life paths take their most interesting turnings..

HUMOUR IN UNIFORM

Sometime a mere slip of word or two may put you in a very embarrassing situation. I learnt it hard way, when I was posted in a remote place Missamari(Assam). As part of routine annual exercise, our Higher HQ had to move out on field exercise for a short duration. The area of operation while in exercise was in the general proximity of our Unit, and therefore the onus to look after the administration of Officers in the HQ came down on us for the duration of their stay there.

One fine morning I was called by my Commanding Officer who tasked me to look for a suitable place for establishing Officers Mess for the visiting Officers of our HQ
I knew about one Nursing Officers Mess building which was in state of disuse for a long time, but was appropriate to accommodate all officers with perfect infrastructure for running a Mess . Only few touches in terms of repairs and painting was required to make it fully functional.

My CO liked my suggestion and we took up a case for taking over the building for the duration of exercise. The same was approved by the appropriate authority and I was asked by my CO to write a letter to Chief Matron in the Military Hospital for handing over the building for our use. So I proceeded and wrote a request to Chief Matron in the Hospital. It read something like this;
Madam,
With reference to our letter No — dated–, it is requested that your Nursing Officers Mess be handed over to the undersigned at the earliest. The same will be used by the Officers of HQ ____ for the duration of ____days.

Next day I visited Chief Matron for taking over the building. She stared at me with an unusual face. She silently pulled the drawer and took out the familiar letter and asked me if I had signed the letter. ”Of course madam, I have signed it, is there something wrong?”was my innocent query. ” You better read it right now here”, she insisted. Puzzled, I obliged and read the letter to her. it read like this ;
Madam,
With reference to our letter No — dated—, it is requested that your Nursing Officers be handed over to the undersigned. same will be used by the officers of HQ — for the duration of ___ days.
To my horror I realized what a blunder I had committed. My clerk had omitted the word “MESS” from the complete name of “Nursing Officers Mess”, thereby changing its complete meaning. And I just signed it without noticing this error. What followed next is an experience better forgotten. It was a herculean task to pacify her.

It soon became talk of town and no prizes for guessing the comments I received from my colleagues and seniors laughing loud with obvious wink..
FRIENDS!!!! Read carefully before putting your sign..

CLASSIFICATION

I woke up this morning just like any other day. Had to rush to office little early since I was to conduct a test for my subordinate staff. The test was obviously a way for them to earn a promotion and their classification pay.. Ahh, who would mind earning a little more....On my way to office, I recoiled on my own career. How I reached where I am today, what all tests, exams I had to clear to earn the rank which I adorns today.. It made me think and think more...

Why should there be a need to divide up,classify and neatly package every new thing, every new acquaintance? Why cant we see everything in their basic essence..Why should we put degree of separation between things. Why should we judge humans at all and award them some kind of classification. Why does the thought of judging a person evolves in the first place, to test a personality, status in society, and many such qualities..??

For me to try to classify something so complex as an individual human being merely demonstrate my own shallowness. The good old theory " Survival of the fittest" comes into play. A judgment of another person is an abstraction that adds qualities that are not there and leaves out what is unique about him. It forces a person to put on a veil. Forces him to drift away from his own essence and makes him another breathing machine.. If I classify someone, I turn him into a thing. The only way for me to contact this other person is to experience him, not think about him.

So how do I experience this "Other person"? How do I experience true essence of a person? How do I make a difference between two individuals? Have I evolved something of my own to judge or I am simply following parameters which have been enforced on my psyche since the very beginning. How do I come out of this perplexing situation..??

PERFECTION

PERFECTION

We long to be perfect,don't we..?..I have been hearing this phrase right since my early days that what ever we do, it should be perfect. My parents emphasized, teachers reiterated and environment pushed in this notion further.

However with passing years, I have come to realize that one tends to loose charm of living and rational ability to think while pursuing perfection. I guess perfectionism is yet another of those false pursuits thrown on us in race to acquire more and more and be called successful. Is it necessary to be bestowed with the honor of being a perfectionist to find a place in society..??

To me, chasing this dream to be a perfectionist is a slow death. If everything were to turn out just like I would want it to be or the way I have planned, than I would never experience anything new. My life would be an endless repetition of stale successes. It would entails set pattern imposed on me for leading a life. When and how would I ever think of my own then.? When will I ever exercise my free mind and creativity..??

When I make a mistake, I would experience something different. Is,nt this a better bargain..?